My rock bottom…

I hit my rock bottom at the end of 2023. It wasn’t caused by one catastrophic event, like most think. It was a build up of several little things that eventually caused me to meet my ever lasting low.

I stopped doing things I loved, spending time with family and friends, avoiding mundane activities, taking on new ventures at work, procrastinating and the list goes on for ever. I knew it was time to take action when my family and friends were begging me to seek help. I was causing harm to myself from the amount of showers and extreme cleaning practices that I could barely move from the couch to the kitchen to get water, doing so would cause my arms and legs to bleed from my overly dry, neglected skin. The trip to the ER was that of a quiet and strange. My parents came to allow the responsibility off Morgan and myself. I felt instantly transported to being a child, it was the LONGEST 60 miles of my life. When we arrived, the waiting room was full of sick, desperate looking occupants – making me substantially more uneasy. We waited and I cried for what felt like an eternity – but honestly was more like 45 minutes.

Check in was quick and painless but the true help was missing. I soon came to the realization that unless I was threatening self harm or harm to others – my help I was so desperate for would not come from this grimy, dull ER bed. They administered a full blood panel and were able to prescribe a high dose of the pills anyone who suffers is all too familiar with.

The next few weeks would be trial and error with therapy, medication, family dynamic and separation from my normal life.

I share my rock bottom because I know someone out there is hitting theirs as I type. I want them to know their journey is NOT OVER and they matter.

I am currently working towards peace, most of us will for the rest of our life. But I write to you today with hope for a better tomorrow.

XO, Brook Ashlee

If you or someone you know are struggling reach out – text or call 988 for 24/7 assistance.